In a food processor, chop up the cauliflower into rice-like size chunks. Set aside. Toss the dried tofu with the turmeric and set it in a bowl for later.
In a wok, bring your 2 cups of water to a boil and toss the kale in, cooking for a few minutes. Drain the kale and set it aside to keep the tofu and cauliflower company.
In that same wok, heat up some cooking spray over medium high heat. Add the onions and cook them for a few moments until they start to become translucent. Add the garlic, cook another 30 seconds, and then add the peppers. Cook another minute or so, refresh the cooking spray if needed, then add the turmeric coated tofu crumbles.
Toss everything about, letting the tofu fry. After you feel the tofu has fried enough, toss in the cauliflower rice and kale, soy sauce, and chili sauce. Keep tossing and letting everything fry and stuff.
When the flavours are to your liking, take off the heat, serve and enjoy!